More Gun Control Legislation?

Posted by - GatCrank on Sep 15th 2023

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Well, folks, it seems our dear Democratic friends just can't resist the urge to introduce another "common-sense" gun control bill. U.S. Senators Bob Menendez, Dianne Feinstein, and Cory Booker, along with Representatives Mary Gay Scanlon and Pat Ryan, have graced us with the "Stopping the Fraudulent Sales of Firearms Act." Because, you know, the millions of law-abiding gun owners in this country are obviously the problem here.

According to Senator Menendez, gun sellers and their crafty buyers have been playing a never-ending game of hide-and-seek with those mean tech companies that are trying so hard to keep us safe from... stickers? Yes, you read that right. Some sellers on platforms like Facebook Marketplace have been trying to sell "stickers" that magically transform into firearms when you send them a private message. It's like the modern-day equivalent of Harry Potter's invisibility cloak, but for guns.

And Senator Feinstein is here to save the day! Her brilliant idea is to make it illegal to "circumvent a website's terms of service" to sell a gun online. Because nothing says "gun control" like policing internet terms of service, right?

Senator Booker, not one to be left out, wants us to believe that Congress needs to "reform our country's broken gun safety laws." I guess those pesky background checks and existing regulations just aren't enough. Let's add one more law to the pile, because that's sure to make everyone safer.

But wait, there's more! Representative Scanlon jumps in to remind us that "background checks work." Well, thank goodness for that revelation! Who would have thought that checking someone's background before they buy a gun could be effective? Perhaps we should do more of that instead of creating new laws to ban "deceptive online sales practices" involving stickers.

And let's not forget Representative Ryan, who insists that "misrepresentations that allow illegally trafficked guns into our schools and on our streets must end now." Yes, because criminals who are already breaking the law to traffic guns are definitely going to stop because of this new legislation.

In the end, it's all about "common-sense solutions" to a problem that seems to have no end in sight. But don't worry, folks, our Democratic friends are here to save the day with more laws and regulations. Because we all know that criminals follow the law religiously, and if we just make a few more rules, the world will be a safer place.

So, there you have it, another day in Washington, where politicians never miss an opportunity to introduce a new bill, even if it's about stickers and internet terms of service. Stay tuned for more "common-sense" solutions from our friends across the aisle!